The Rules Do Not Apply: A Memoir

The Rules Do Not Apply A Memoir When thirty eight year old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in she was pregnant married financially secure and successful on her own terms A month later non

  • Title: The Rules Do Not Apply: A Memoir
  • Author: Ariel Levy
  • ISBN: 9780812996937
  • Page: 483
  • Format: Hardcover
  • When thirty eight year old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms A month later, none of that was true Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed Like muchWhen thirty eight year old New Yorker writer Ariel Levy left for a reporting trip to Mongolia in 2012, she was pregnant, married, financially secure, and successful on her own terms A month later, none of that was true Levy picks you up and hurls you through the story of how she built an unconventional life and then watched it fall apart with astonishing speed Like much of her generation, she was raised to resist traditional rules about work, about love, and about womanhood I wanted what we all want everything We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising We want to be youthful adventurers and middle aged mothers We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills But we can t have it all In this memoir, Levy chronicles the adventure and heartbreak of being a woman who is free to do whatever she chooses Her own story of resilience becomes an unforgettable portrait of the shifting forces in our culture, of what has changed and of what is eternal.

    • The Rules Do Not Apply: A Memoir : Ariel Levy
      483 Ariel Levy
    • thumbnail Title: The Rules Do Not Apply: A Memoir : Ariel Levy
      Posted by:Ariel Levy
      Published :2019-05-21T12:06:03+00:00

    About " Ariel Levy "

  • Ariel Levy

    Ariel Levy born October 17, 1974 is a staff writer at The New Yorker magazine and author of the book Female Chauvinist Pigs Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, The New Yorker, Vogue, Slate, Men s Journal and Blender Levy was named one of the Forty Under 40 most influential out individuals in the June July 2009 issue of The Advocate.Levy was raised in Larchmont, New York, and attended Wesleyan University in the 1990s She says that her experiences at Wesleyan, which had co ed showers, on principle , strongly influenced her views regarding modern sexuality After graduating from Wesleyan, she was briefly employed by Planned Parenthood, but claims that she was fired because she is an extremely poor typist She was hired by New York magazine shortly thereafter.At The New Yorker magazine, where Levy has been a staff writer since 2008, she has written profiles of Cindy McCain and Marc Jacobs At New York magazine, where Levy was a contributing editor for 12 years, she wrote about John Waters, Donatella Versace, the writer George Trow, the feminist Andrea Dworkin, the artists Ryan McGinley and Dash Snow, Al Franken, Clay Aiken, Maureen Dowd, and Jude Law Levy has explored issues regarding American drug use, gender roles, lesbian culture, and the popularity of U.S pop culture staples such as Sex and the City and Gwen Stefani Some of these articles allude to Levy s personal thoughts on the status of modern feminism.Levy criticized the pornographic video series Girls Gone Wild after she followed its camera crew for three days, interviewed both the makers of the series and the women who appeared on the videos, and commented on the series concept and the debauchery she was witnessing Many of the young women Levy spoke with believed that bawdy and liberated were synonymous.Levy s experiences amid Girls Gone Wild appear again in Female Chauvinist Pigs, in which she attempts to explain why young women today are embracing raunchy aspects of our culture that would likely have caused their feminist foremothers to vomit In today s culture, Levy writes, the idea of a woman participating in a wet T shirt contest or being comfortable watching explicit pornography has become a symbol of strength she says that she was surprised at how many people, both men and women, working for programs such as Girls Gone Wild told her that this new raunch culture marked not the downfall of feminism but its triumph, but Levy was unconvinced.Levy s work is anthologized in The Best American Essays of 2008, New York Stories, and 30 Ways of Looking at Hillary.


  • Hmm. The writing on a sentence level is exquisite. Levy's vocabulary is just superb. This is an interesting book. Levy demonstrates self awareness and is willing to put herself on the page in uncomfortable but compelling ways. The end of the book is a mess. The last few chapters are just baffling given the strength of what precedes them. There is also this awkward strain of unexamined white girl privilege throughout. Now, is such examination mandatory? Of course not. But whew. The lack of it is [...]

  • I'm just going to talk openly about what happens in the memoir because it seems as though it's mostly all out there as is, and so I don't want people yelling at me about spoilers. The literal summary provided makes even the miscarriage clear. Ariel Levy was thirty eight when she got pregnant, before which she had been ambivalent about having a child. Ariel wanted a child but she also wanted to pursue her ambitions in journalism and create a financially stable life for herself. Her desire to live [...]

  • Who is this Ariel Levy, anyway? It’s always a risk to read a memoir by someone you’ve never heard of, or who isn’t a blogger with lots of creds. I’ve been burnt before. But this is definitely a keeper. Levy, at 38, had it all, and was dazed with happiness as she looked forward into the future. And then Poof! It’s gone. In a nanosecond her life turned to hell.Levy is an excellent writer. When I read that she worked for The New Yorker, I figured her writing would be exceptional, and it i [...]

  • I didn’t know anything about Ariel Levy – who is a writer with The New Yorker -- but the description of her memoir sounded interesting. Well, it turns out that I would probably be happy to read anything by Levy and I need to look for some of her other writings. Her memoir deals with terrible personal losses she suffered a few years ago. She talks about her childhood, her early years as a writer and her history of relationships. This background is presented as a build up to the events that tu [...]

  • This memoir got a lot of hype, some of which is justified.Ariel Levy has some strong passages in the book, but parts of it felt padded and unfocused. The Rules Do Not Apply is an extension of an article Levy wrote in The New Yorker on a horrible miscarriage she suffered while reporting in Mongolia. The story of the miscarriage is heartbreaking, along with her grief when she later lost her spouse, Lucy."For the first time I can remember, I cannot locate my competent self — one more missing pers [...]

  • Ariel Levy always believed she could be a writer. Her mother told her it was a good idea, a normal thing for a pre-teen to aspire to, something for a teen to aim for. She was in her late teens when she wrote for New York magazine about a bar in Queens where enormously heavy women danced for men, and presumably women. The women wore brightly colored clothes, high heels, and sequins for anyone who lusted for heavy. It made the women feel desired. Levy was allowed to grow up thinking that sexuality [...]

  • To talk about this book, I have to also talk about memoirs and my relationship with them in general. This book challenged me and my ideas of memoirs, especially those written by women. I have talked about my enjoyment of memoirs elsewhere so it is safe to say that it is a type of book I gravitate to and read a lot of.Ariel Levy’s memoir is a memoir about loss: the loss of her child, her spouse, and her house. She talks in absolute honesty of that loss and of the person she was beforehand, a pe [...]

  • The literary memoir "The Rules Do Not Apply" is all about a privileged white woman who has led a charmed life. The author has been raised to assume she has control over all aspects of her life because nothing traumatic has ever happened to her, or anyone in her family, and she has had a successful writing career, according to plan. She has grown up believing she should "have it all" in life, and she actively pursues that goal throughout childhood and into her adulthood. Author Ariel Levy assumes [...]

  • It's tough to rate a grief memoir without feeling like you're making a personal comment about the author or her experiences, so I feel a need to qualify my choice of three stars I'm very impressed with the author's writing skills and empathize with the grief she felt over her miscarriage and her spouse's alcoholism. But based on the star descriptions I think this is solidly an "I liked it" book, without reaching the level of "really liked" or "amazing." This isn't a book that will turn me into [...]

  • I rarely sit down with a book only to look up hours later and realize I've consumed it in its entirety. Such was the case with The Rules Do Not Apply! It was recommended on a Podcast, and I knew nothing else going into it besides the fact that it was a memoir. Though achingly depressing, and self-deprecating, it's a beautifully written book, full of honesty, hope, humor and self-awareness. I procrastinated in filing my taxes, so I finished the last pages of it in the waiting room of a Jackson He [...]

  • I had read such mixed reviews of this one that I almost didn't read it, but I'm glad I did. Where other people saw an unlikable writer, I only saw honesty, about relationships, deciding what kind of life you are going to have, etc. I sat and read it cover to cover.One example: "I wanted what she had wanted, what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and auto [...]

  • One hell of a memoir - visceral and beautifully written. I disliked her intensely for most of the book but that matters not a whit. I admire her unflinching candor. This is one I won't soon forget.

  • I'm in Ariel Levy's camp for life. While I thought Female Chauvinist Pigs didn't quite live up to its potential, I appreciated its thesis and Levy's engaging writing, and reading her New Yorker essays in subsequent years cemented my admiration. When I learned that The Rules Do Not Apply was based on her unforgettable essay "Thanksgiving in Mongolia," I became desperate to read it, and this book did not disappoint—I inhaled it in two days, riveted by both her story and her way of telling it. Th [...]

  • 2.5*I won this book in a giveaway and was really pumped to read it. Memoirs are hard to rate, I don't want to come off as judging the author personally. Ariel is good at writing without a doubt, but her storytelling was all over the place to me, especially at the beginning. What happened to her was tragic and traumatizing, and those chapters were heartbreaking. But otherwise everything else felt superficial and lacking depth. I wanted more from her personally and a cohesiveness that flowed.

  • 2.5 stars - I did not know who Ariel Levy was prior to hearing about her book, The Rules Do Not Apply. After finishing it, I have mixed feelings. I feel there was quite a bit of hype for the book, and while parts of it were good, I don't know If I'm as into it as many other readers seem to be. I read the book in two separate sittings and had a much easier time reading and liking the first part, even being aware of the ultimate outcome of the story (which is revealed very early on in the book). T [...]

  • It's billed as a memoir, butThe Rules Do Not Applyfeels more like an exploration of grief, an attempt to make sense of tragedy and loss. And it reads beautifully. Levy doesn't pull any punches - she hits you right in the gut, baring her wounds in such raw fashion that the reader feels the knife. You know what you are in for from the very beginning - the first sentence rings with loss. Part of me wanted to stop immediately. Warning, the rest of this review is mildly spoilery.As a parent, my great [...]

  • WARNING: Highly Opinionated Review to FollowIn my sixty years, I've learned a little about people. Not a lot, mind you, but a little. I can now separate people into two categories: Drama Queens (male and female, against all stereotypes) and Those Who Prefer Peace and Quiet. I'm afraid I fall into the later category, and, as a result, I tend to regard DQs (quite judgmentally, I'm sad to say) as people who bring their troubles on themselves: You can't seem to have those extraordinary highs without [...]

  • Ariel Levy is a woman who grew up knowing she could have everything. She believed in the kindness of Mother Nature, the voice of reason (if it came from her), the importance of her own worth, and the ability to make her own rules. She traversed the world seeking adventure and writing about her experiences. Sometimes, her travels took her just subway stops away, but worlds apart from her day to day life - like the time she wrote an article for New York Magazine about a nightclub for obese women i [...]

  • I made small talk on the cold front deck of the restaurant with a curly-haired woman, and she told me about her daughters and how exhausted she was all the time, and then something turned in her head and her face looked like it wasn't sure what to do with itself. She said, "Are you the Ariel who all the bad things happened to?"I said that I was, and wondered how many Ariels she could possibly have chosen from.The Rules Do Not Apply is a fascinating and gritty memoir that really took me by surpri [...]

  • "All of my conjuring had led to only ruin and death. Now I was a wounded witch, wailing in the forest, undone."The writing is good, though sometimes too melodramatic for me (see above). At times it seemed disingenuous and lacked real emotion. For me to connect with a memoirist, I have to like him/her. I failed to connect with Levy. That said, she went through a loss I cannot even fathom and I hope getting it on paper has helped her cope.

  • 2.5 starsAriel Levy can write, and write extremely well. In fact, the book’s main strength is her writing so eloquently about grief (no spoiler: she lost a baby at 19 week’s gestation while traveling in Mongolia for work). My heart broke for her as she talks of holding her tiny son in her hands as he drew his last breath. The chapters on the loss and her overwhelming grief were the book’s strongest chapters.The title refers to the author’s rather charmed privileged life of reaching her m [...]

  • I LOVED listening to this book, and devoured it in just a few sittings. It's a very raw, personal, and confessional memoir by a woman who wears her considerable flaws on her sleeve — in other words, it's exactly my cup of tea. The author does her own performance on the audiobook, adding another layer of intimacy to her story.Ariel Levy recounts her troubled marriage, her wife's alcoholism, her own cheating, and all the twists and turns leading up to her fertility treatments and subsequent misc [...]

  • This book is hard to rate, because I enjoyed it but I didn't like it, if that even makes any sense. It is a memoir about a particularly difficult time in the author's life, in which she has a truly horrific miscarriage, endures the collapse of her marriage, and suffers some economic insecurity. (That's not a spoiler, by the way--it's right on the jacket flap.)I will start with the positive and point out that Levy is a really good writer, and this is the book's greatest strength. And it made me t [...]

  • Tough book to review, a memoir is. The writing, or the person's life? Ariel Levy's writing is bold, raw and purposely in your face, which is good for magazines and books to grab you by the throat. A memoir, most, should grab you by the heart for better or worse but Levy's also grabs your conscience. I mean she takes it out to dinner, a seedy bar after, all the drinks, all the feels, and whips it around the room. You don't know who you are by the time it's over. Having grown up with upper-middle [...]

  • I found "Rules Do Not Apply" moving and relatable. She does a good job of deleaneating the spectrum of sexuality, in fact probably the best I've read anywhere. She describes her feelings about people without regard, or very little, for whether they're male or female. She chooses romantic partners based on her love for them and of course that undefinable zing that makes someone attractive though her longest romantic partner was a woman.Her odyssey in finding a life partner and starting a family i [...]

  • Back in the day, I was a fan of Levy’s first book, Female Chauvinist Pigs, about women and the rise of raunch culture. So I was thrilled to get my hands on an advance copy of her memoir, about a woman who wants it all—lifelong companionship, fantastic sex, a child of her own, and a successful journalism career—only to learn, upon losing it all, that you can’t control most things in life. It was a powerful read for a neurotic control freak like myself.–Steph Auterifrom The Best Books We [...]

  • Levy's writing is a pleasure to read. She shares some very difficult things with a gracefully unapologetic candor that sucked me right in. I had some problems with it, but overall it was a lovely read.

  • This book isn't quite what I was expecting. (I'm not sure the marketing for this memoir did it any favors.) That said, I ended up enjoying this book more than I thought I would. Levy is a wonderful writer and her story is heartbreaking. A beautiful read.

  • Levy veers between the banal and the somewhat insightful. And - dare I say it - the emotional cliffhangers at the end of nearly every short chapter seemed kind of cheap. Although I didn't like this book as I thought I might, I respect that Levy is pretty hard on herself here, not flattering or terribly self-aggrandizing, and her story as she has crafted it is only a bit self-serving. At one point she claims she's "no good at making things up," but that she's skilled at taking the apparent facts [...]

  • Ariel Levy is a journalist who writes for The New Yorker. She chronicles her early life, her career, her travels, and her tragedies in a whip-smart and in-your-face manner. She is dealt a mighty blow which crushes her only to come back stronger. What I liked about the book is that I did not always like her, her partner, or her parents but I still cared about them. Everyone has their own foibles and none of the people in her life, including herself, are exempt. You see all the characters make hug [...]

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